


was this a mistake? (yes)

by incaelo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BDSM innuendos, Chatting & Messaging, Conversations, Crack, Daichi gets a headache, Fanfiction, Gen, Humor, Karasuno, Rated T for language, Sawamura Daichi is So Done, Self-Indulgent, azumane is so pure, big brains, brain cells? what are those, chatfic, god i love tsukishima, groupchat, haikyuu chat fic, hinata uses too much punctuation, it’s fun, pls help daichi escape, poor kageyama, simping, subtle flirts also ensue, tsukishima roasts everyone, what if: flat earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incaelo/pseuds/incaelo
Summary: Hinata creates a Karasuno group-chat. Chaos ensues, and Daichi is So Done.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	1. wtf

**Author's Note:**

> well this was fun to write so hopefully it’s fun to read :DD
> 
> also don’t ask me what kind of messaging service this is because i don’t know either

—

 ** _hinata_ ** _has added **Daichi** , **sugawara** , **Azumane** , **nishi** , **noya** , **tsukishima** , **yamaguchi** , **Kageyama** , **ennoshita** , **Kinoshita** , **Narita** , **kiyoko** , and **Yachi** to the chat  
  
_

**_hinata_ ** _has named the chat_

_“karasuno!!!”_

**hinata** :  
welcome everybody!!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
why

 **hinata** :  
why what

 **tsukishima** :  
why does this chat exist

 **hinata** :  
because  
….  
i don’t know

 **noya** :  
(because it can)

 **hinata** :  
because it can!!!!

 **_tsukishima_ ** _has left the chat  
_****

**_nishi_ ** _has added_ **_tsukishima_ ** _to the chat_

 **nishi** :  
if we suffer  
you suffer

 **Daichi** :  
who’s who

 **noya** :  
what

 **Daichi** :  
nishi and you  
who’s tanaka and who’s nishinoya

 **noya** :  
oh  
you shall never know!!!!!!!!!

 **sugawara** :  
hi nishinoya

 **noya** :  
...  
how did you...

 **_Daichi_ ** _has changed_ **_nishi_** _’s name to_ **_tanaka_  
**

**tanaka** :  
MY IDENTITY  
NO

 **Kageyama** :  
What’s this chat for?

 **tsukishima** :  
english tutoring

 **Kageyama** :  
Really?

 **tsukishima** :  
no  
idiot

 **Kageyama** :  
...

 **tanaka** :  
this gives me nostalgia  
it’s like

 **Azumane** :  
A group chat?

 **tanaka** :  
yes that

 **Azumane** :  
????

 **tanaka** :  
no wait  
it reminds me of chat fics 

**sugawara** :  
it’s literally just a group chat

 **_hinata_ ** _has named the chat_

_“karasuno chat fic!!!”  
_

**tsukishima** :  
no

 **Daichi** :  
tanaka  
how do you know about chat fics  
or fics in general

 **tanaka** :   
how do YOU know about fics??

 **Daichi** :  
i never said i knew about them

 **tanaka** :  
you implied it

 **Daichi** :  
did i?

 **tanaka** :  
yes

 **sugawara** :  
yes

 **hinata** :  
why are we saying yes

 **sugawara** :  
scroll up

 **hinata** :  
oh  
yes!!!!

 **Daichi** :  
…  
we will never speak of this again

 **noya** :  
i beg to differ, sir daichi

 ** _noya_** _has changed_ **_noya_** _’s name to_ ** _bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority  
_**

**tanaka** :  
bro…..

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
bro…..

 **Daichi** :  
that name is way too fucking long 

**tsukishima** :  
i’m just surprised that he knows the word ‘superiority’ exists

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
can you  
not

 **tsukishima** :  
no

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
just because ur brain is big

 **hinata** :  
and ur body!!!!

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
doesn’t mean u get to bully us for not having a big brian!!!

 **tanaka** :  
brian

 **sugawara** :  
brian

 **Kageyama** :  
The hell you mean his body is big?  
He’s built like one of those flailing inflatable tubes that you find at gas stations. 

**tsukishima** :  
is that jealousy i sense

 **hinata** :  
those are big!!!!!!

 **Kageyama** :  
You’re just small. 

**tsukishima** :  
for once  
i agree with kagayamaga

 **Kageyama** :  
Who?  
Cause that’s not my name. 

**hinata** :  
guys  
inflatable mans can literally reach up to 20 ft and higher!!!1!1!

 **Daichi** :  
nice use of the word “men” there

 ** _tsukishima_** _has changed_ **_hinata_** _’s name to_ ** _shrimp  
_**

**shrimp** :   
this is bullying!!1!1!1!!!  
stop it!!

 **Kageyama** :   
Stop being baby.

 **tsukishima** :   
there’s a difference between being baby versus being _a_ baby  
which one did you mean

 **Kageyama** :   
I meant “a baby”, stupid. I was just typing too fast.

 **tsukishima** :   
were you though

 **yamaguchi** :   
and did you though?????

 **sugawara** :  
fact

 ** _tsukishima_** _has changed_ **_shrimp_** _’s_ _name to_ ** _baby asf  
_**

**baby asf** :  
i like this better!!!

 **Kageyama** :  
Do you want to die?

 **baby asf** :  
would it be at your hands???

 **Kageyama** :  
…

 ** _  
Kageyama_ ** _has left the chat  
_

**Daichi** :   
what the fuck

 **tanaka** :  
YOOOOOO

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
aYOOOOOOOO

 **sugawara** :  
cha cha real smooth

 **Azumane** :  
LOL

 **tsukishima** :  
we both know that you had a straight face while typing that

 **Azumane** :  
That’s where you’re wrong  
I was actually smiling

 **tsukishima** :  
…

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
gasp  
asahi-san  
you’ve done the impossible

 **yamaguchi** :  
you’ve rendered tsukki speechless!!!!!!

 **baby asf** :  
“rendered”  
big words  
  
**tsukishima** :  
tadashi  
you’re supposed to be on my side  
  
**tanaka** :  
...first name basis i see

 **yamaguchi** :  
sorry master

 **Daichi** :  
what the fuck

 **_Daichi_ ** _has left the chat  
_

—

karasuno chat fic!!!

 **_baby asf_ ** _has added_ _**Daichi** to the chat_ **  
**

**yamaguchi** :  
DAICHI-SAN  
IM SORRY  
I WAS JOKING  
IT WAS A JOKE

 **tanaka** :  
yo even tsukki was flustered

 **tsukishima** :  
can you….. not

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
the poker face king himself

 **tsukishima** :  
do not refer to me as king

 **Kageyama** :  
Hah. 

**tsukishima** :  
stfu

 **Daichi** :  
...my eyes…

 **yamaguchi** :  
I AM SO SORRY

 **kiyoko** :  
this is interesting

 **Daichi** :  
oh hey shimizu

 **kiyoko** :  
hi

 **tanaka** :  
i strongly agree with you   
my love

 **sugawara** :  
.....ly manager  
coming off a bit too strong there

 **tanaka** :  
i’m sorry  
i cannot help it

 **tsukishima** :  
then help it

 **Azumane** :  
!!!

 **baby asf** :  
!!!

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
i’m with ryuu  
it’s not that easy (つД`)ノ  
  
**tsukishima** :  
then make it easy

 **baby asf** :  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
roasted

 **Kageyama** :  
The last time I’ve ever heard someone say ‘roasted’ was in fifth grade.   
  
**Azumane** :  
…I still use it 

**sugawara** :  
you don’t count

 **baby asf** :  
well  
my rebuttal to that is  
i’m baby

 ** _Kageyama_** _has changed_ **_baby asf_** _’s name to_ ** _not baby asf  
_**

**Kageyama** :  
So that my past doesn’t haunt me. 

**tsukishima** :  
….as much  
i’m still here

 **not baby asf** :  
*cue appalled look*

 **Azumane** :  
You did not just type that out XD

 **tsukishima** :  
azumane-san  
you type like a 12 year old girl who binge reads wattpad

 **tanaka** :  
hey don’t slander wattpad like that

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
yeah it’s got some good stuff!!  
right daichi-san

 **Daichi** :  
what the fuck

 **sugawara** :  
why is that your default response 

**Daichi** :  
why does this chat make me respond it enough for it to be my default response

 **sugawara** :  
...fair

 **Azumane** :  
Why is my typing always being insulted :(((

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
gasp

 **tsukishima** :  
can you pls stop gasping

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
not the frowny face!!!  
tsukishima   
take it back right now

 **tsukishima** :  
only if you change your name

 **bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority** :  
anything to uphold asahi typing rights

 ** _bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority_** _changed_ **_bestfriendstolovers! trope superiority_** _’s name to_

**_not enough beds trope superiority  
_ **

**tsukishima** :  
ffs

 **sugawara** :  
that’s a good one

 **Daichi** :  
does everyone here affiliate with ff  
because ffs

 **not baby asf** :  
what’s ffs???  
**  
tanaka** :  
fan fiction sex

 **not baby asf** :  
ahhh okay

 **Daichi** :  
my life  
why

 **kiyoko** :  
haha

 **tanaka** :  
….

 **yamaguchi** :  
oh no

 **sugawara** :  
here we go

 **tanaka** :  
?!:&;@&:&30;8&:  
….me…. just kiyoko… made laugh…  
a minute... give me….

 **tsukishima** :  
ffs

 **not baby asf:  
**fan fiction sex!!!!!! :D

 **Kageyama** :  
Dumbass. 

**Yachi** :  
You killed him, Kiyoko-san!

 **kiyoko** :  
whoops

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
a glorious death  
one for which i will gladly trade

 **ennoshita** :  
if i called you a simp  
it would actually be accurate   
just so you know

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
chikara!!!!!!!!!!

 **Daichi** :  
ennoshita thank god  
also hello hitoka-chan

 **Yachi** :  
Hello!

 **Daichi** :  
how are you

 **Yachi** :  
I’m good!

 **Daichi** :  
then i suggest you leave this chat right now

 **Yachi** :  
...pardon?

 **sugawara** :  
i apologize on his behalf

 **Daichi** :  
don’t let it ruin ur day

 **tsukishima** :  
i'm debating on whether that’s offensive or flattering 

**Daichi** :  
offensive 

**tsukishima** :  
then why am i flattered

 **not baby asf** :  
because you’re a masochist!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
that’s not how that works

 **not baby asf** :  
a reverse masochist!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
still not how that works

 **tanaka** :  
isn’t it called a sadist?

 **Daichi** :  
how’d you know that

 **tanaka** :  
two words  
christian grey

 **Daichi** :  
…..

 **tanaka** :  
isn’t it funny how he has the word “christ” in his name

 **ennoshita** :  
...moving on

 **Kageyama** :  
This is the second BDSM-related innuendo.  
And this is a volleyball group-chat.

 **tsukishima** :  
what else would it be

 **Kageyama** :  
Stop.  
Gross.

 **tsukishima** :  
i didn’t say anything

 **Kageyama** :  
...  
I hate you.

 **tsukishima** :  
that’s right   
hate me more

 **not baby asf** :  
so you are a masochist!!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
once again   
not how that works

 **Kageyama** :  
This chat makes me wanna run off the edge of the earth.

 **Daichi** :  
same

 **Azumane** :  
There is no edge of the earth

 **not baby asf** :  
unless you’re a flat earther!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
that would make so much sense 

**Kageyama** :  
????

 **sugawara** :  
even if he was a flat earther  
there would still not be an edge of the earth  
but if there was  
and if both of you ran off it

 **Daichi** :  
no need for the if

 **sugawara** :  
i’d catch both of you

 **Kageyama** :  
Please don’t. 

**not baby asf** :  
sugawara-san noooo!!!  
they’d crush you!!!

 **sugawara** :  
it would be worth it

 **Azumane** :  
0.o

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
hinata’s right  
the masochism in the chat is flooding my senses  
i cannot breathe 

**not baby asf** :  
right????!

 **Kinoshita** :  
Hello!

 **ennoshita** :  
MOVING ON

 **Kinoshita** :  
...Bad timing?

 **ennoshita** :  
NO   
PERFECT TIMING

 **tsukishima** :  
sane people are finally joining the chat

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
does that mean you don’t consider yourself sane???

 **not baby asf** :  
he’s insanely smart!!!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
exactly 

**sugawara** :  
hello kinoshita!  
this makes me wonder  
where’s narita?

 **Narita** :  
I’m here!  
I’ve just been staring at the chat in shock.

 **Yachi** :  
Same! :P

 **tanaka** :  
talking about shock  
yamaguchi

 **yamaguchi** :  
yes?

 **tanaka** :  
about the master thing

 **Daichi** :  
goodbye

 **_Daichi_ ** _has left the chat_


	2. gross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is even happening

—

 **_not baby asf_ ** _has added_ **_Daichi_ ** _to the chat_

**not baby asf** :  
welcome back sawamura-san!!!!!  
****

**sugawara** :  
we gave you a day to process the events of yesterday’s chat

 **Daichi** :  
…  
  
**tanaka** :  
you’re also required to be in this chat  
since you’re the captain  
**  
Daichi** :  
if being kidnapped through a screen was possible  
this is what it’d feel like  
  
**not baby asf** :  
silly  
you can’t be kidnapped by someone younger than you  
wait  
can you

 **Azumane** :  
Nothing’s impossible :0

 **sugawara** :  
so inspiring  
  
**not baby asf** :  
but not all things are possible!!!!!  
  
**tsukishima** :  
what  
  
**Kageyama** :  
I definitely lost brain cells trying to understand that.  
  
**tsukishima** :  
you had brain cells? 

**Kageyama** :  
Die. 

_**tsukishima** has changed _ **_Kageyama_** _’s name to **Kagayamaga**_

 **Kagayamaga** :  
No.

 ** _Kagayamaga_ ** _has changed_ **_Kagayamaga_ ** _’s name to_ **_Kageyama  
_**

**tsukishima** :  
aw :/  
  
**tanaka** :  
isn’t it funny  
  
**sugawara** :  
here we go

 **tanaka** :  
how the word “kagayamaga”  
has both “gay” and “maga” in it  
when maga is the least gay thing ever

 **not baby asf** :  
maga????

 **tanaka** :  
make america great again

 **Daichi** :  
jesus christ  
can we not talk american politics

 **tsukishima** :  
for once  
i agree   
it makes all of my brain cells vanish

 **not baby asf** :  
ur big juicy brain cells 

**tsukishima** :  
wtf

 **Kageyama** :  
You have brain cells?

 **tsukishima** :  
wow  
so original  
i am in awe

 **not baby asf** :  
you stole that, kageyama-kun!!!

 **Kageyama** :  
That I did. 

**not baby** **asf** :  
thieves aren’t nice!!!!  
and this isn’t the first time you’ve stolen something

 **Kageyama** :  
????  
What else have I stolen?

 **not baby asf** :  
my heart

 **Kageyama** :  
….

 ** _Kageyama_ ** _has left the chat_

 **tanaka** :  
gaddamn  
why is hinata smoother than me

 **_not baby asf_ ** _has added_ **_Kageyama_  
**

**Daichi** :  
because he actually thinks with his head  
  
**tsukishima** :  
i disagree 

**Kageyama** :  
Who?

 **not baby asf** :  
me :DD

 **Kageyama** :  
Oh.   
Yeah, no.  
  
**not baby asf** :  
???????  
  
**Daichi** :  
…you’re right   
only sometimes

 **not baby asf** :  
???!?!?!!?

 **tanaka** :  
????   
what do you think i think with??

 **sugawara** :  
….

 **Azumane** :  
…..

 **tanaka** :  
...oh

 **kiyoko** :  
i agree

 **tanaka** :  
@$),:$:38£&$;! $:$

 **sugawara** :  
exhibit A

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
!!!!!!  
i have been summoned

 **tsukishima** :  
how do i unsummon 

**tanaka** :  
k-kiyoko-san <33

 **tsukishima** :  
you did not just fucking stutter through text

 **sugawara** :  
he’s trying his best

 **tsukishima** :  
his best sucks

 **not baby asf** :  
!!!!!!  
so harsh!!!!!!

 **not baby asf** has changed **tsukishima** ’s name to **tsundere tsukki  
**

**tsundere tsukki** :  
fuck no

 **tsundere tsukki** has changed **tsundere tsukki** ’s name to **tsukishima  
**

**tsukishima** :  
leave my name alone

 **Kageyama** :  
What’s it like to get a taste of your own medicine?

 **tsukishima** :  
stop  
that line  
is straight out of a fifth graders bullying awareness video project   
don’t ever say it again

 **Kageyama** :  
...

 **tsukishima** :  
tears are welling up in my eyes  
from the cringe

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
kageyama  
ur a nerd

 **Kageyama** :  
???  
But I’m failing english?  
And math?

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
ur a nerd in spirit  
congratulations 

**Kageyama** :  
I think the real nerd is Tsundere Tsukki over here.

 **tsukishima** :  
istg  
watch out  
ur shorter than me  
so therefore i WILL fucking punt you  
just say the word

 **not baby asf** :  
punt me

 **Azumane** :  
0.o

 **tanaka** :  
that went from 0 to 100  
and i’m not sure i mind 

**not enough beds trope superiority** :  
is that a kink of yours  
seeing other people get punted

 **tanaka** :  
i mean  
i’m not saying it is  
but i’m not saying it’s not

 **Daichi** :  
can we  
leave kinks out of this

 **tanaka** :  
am i not allowed to like watching someone getting punted

 **not baby asf** :  
and am i not allowed to like being punted

 **tsukishima** :  
ur not going anywhere near my foot

 **not baby asf** :  
!!!!  
punt me!!!!

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
yes  
punt him tsukki  
punt him like a soccer ball

 **Daichi** :  
what the actual fuck

 **tsukishima** :  
i mean  
i won’t  
but i know someone who would

 **Kageyama** :  
Stop. 

**tsukishima** :  
i didn’t say it was you  
but if the shoe fits

 **Kageyama** :  
I hate you. 

**tsukishima** :  
thanks

 **not baby asf** :  
kageyama!!!!!  
does that mean you’ll punt me!!???

 **Kageyama** :  
No.   
Gross.  
Stay away.

 **not enough beds trope superiority** :  
why would it be gross  
unless ur thinking of something else????

 **tanaka** :  
that’s what i’m thinking  
i can't tell if this punting thing is a sexual innuendo or not

 **ennoshita** :  
stop right there  
let’s take a deep breath  
keep calm  
and keep it fucking pg

 **tanaka** :  
that’s not how it goes

 **yamaguchi** :  
isn’t it  
keep calm  
and keep carrying

 **Daichi** :  
...

 **tsukishima** :  
absolutely not 

—

_karasuno!!!  
_

**not enough beds trope superiority** :  
good morning everyone   
it’s a new day  
new day  
new trope

 ** _not enough beds trope superiority_ ** _has changed_ **_not enough beds trope superiority_** _’s name to_ **_sharing a bed trope superiority_ **

**ennoshita** :  
that’s basically the same thing

 **sharing a bed trope superiority** :   
i’m not ready to let go yet

 **tanaka** :  
understandable

 **sugawara** :  
yeah it’s a good one

 **not baby asf** :  
yeah!!!! 

**tsukishima** :  
you guys are all losers

 **Daichi** :  
^^^^

 **tsukishima** :  
that includes you daichi-san

 **not baby asf** :  
burn!!!!!!!!!

 **Daichi** :  
how are you gonna use an honorific   
then disrespect me right after

 **sharing a bed trope superiority** :  
he actually disrespected you before using the honorific

 **tanaka** :  
HAH  
gottem

 **Daichi** :  
...  
watch out  
before i disrespect all of you back

 **tsukishima** :  
how  
  
**sharing a bed trope superiority** :  
yeah how  
you gonna throw us over your knee???

 **tanaka** :  
that is  
not an image i ever thought i’d imagine   
and i’m not sure i mind 

**sugawara** :  
me too

 **Daichi** :  
bye

 ** _Daichi_ ** _has left the chat  
_

—  
**_  
not baby asf_ ** _has added_ **_Daichi_ ** _to the chat_

 **not baby asf** :  
guys  
stop leaving  
my fingers are getting tired

 **tsukishima** :  
then stop typing

 **not baby asf** :  
no

 **tanaka** :  
well then   
no complaining

 **sharing a bed trope superiority** :  
why do you kinda sound like a dad

 **ennoshita** :  
talking about dads  
were you guys teasing daichi again

 **not baby asf** :  
im innocent!!!!!!  
i swear!!!!!

 **tanaka** :  
hinata, no you aren't

 **not baby asf** :  
…..  
...pinky promise?

 **tanaka** :  
lies   
you were   
a bystander

 **sharing a bed trope superiority** :  
gasp

 **tanaka** :  
and a bystander  
is just as guilty  
as the bullies

 **ennoshita** :  
did you just call yourself a bully

 **tanaka** :  
no

 **not baby asf** :  
you did!!!!

 **Daichi** :  
accurate description  
not a minute passes without me being harassed

 **tanaka** :  
sorry  
i can't help it  
it’s my favorite pastime  
  
**ennoshita** :  
did you just admit to harassing daichi

 **tanaka** :  
no

 **Kageyama** :  
Who’s the one telling lies now?

 **tsukishima** :  
again  
straight out of a fifth graders bullying awareness video project 

**not baby asf** :  
kageyama!!!

 **tsukishima** :  
what

 **Kageyama** :  
What?

 **not baby asf** :  
kageyama’s telling lies!!!  
because he lied his way into my  
uh

 **sharing a bed trope superiority** : **  
**pants?

 **tanaka** :  
ass?

 **not baby asf** :  
!!?!:&/&!!so vulgar!!  
it’s meant to be cute  
not….

 **sugawara** :  
bed?

 **not baby asf** :  
sugawara-san!!!!! :0

 **tanaka** :  
i take it back  
ur not smooth  
ur bumpy

 **tsukishima** :  
and you’re not funny  
at all

 **tanaka** :  
do you wanna feel these fists

 **tsukishima** :  
?? gross

 **tanaka** :  
WHY IS IT GROSS

 **sugawara** :  
the wording

 **ennoshita** :  
yes  
work on the wording for the sake of all of us  
no one wants to hear your sexual prepositions 

**tanaka** :  
?!;&;$&:!:!,&&:!!?!???!

 **Daichi** :  
you guys are gross  
i feel grimy   
i’m taking a shower after this

 **yamaguchi** :  
a shower?

 **Daichi** :  
yes 

**sugawara** :  
a cold shower??

 **Daichi** :  
no

 **sugawara** :  
sigh

 **tanaka** :  
was that a sigh of relief  
or disappointment  
and do i truly wanna know

 **sugawara** :  
no

 **tsukishima** :  
gross

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOWEEEEE
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed this chapterrrrr :D
> 
> COMMENT UR FAVORITE LINES :D it helps me know what makes people giggle or chuckle or whatever synonym of laugh that matches ur laugh most accurately

**Author's Note:**

> tsukishima was so incredibly fun to write pls 😭😭😭
> 
> comment your favorite lines/parts!!! also don’t forget to give it a kudos if you liked it!!!! and possibly want more!!!
> 
> thanks so much for reading!!!!! :DD <3


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